There are a million shades of grace

I love to think about emotions in terms of colors. Sometimes we feel love and it’s red other times we feel love and it pale blue. I began to think about how everything we experience has color and that colors change through time. They change through how we change as well. One day I began to cut up some piece of artwork that I didn’t like. “Cut them up, let them go, and see what new things you can find”, I told myself. It was freeing to do that. To look at each piece simply for it’s color and not for how it fit into the whole image. As I cut I began to see connections of color, and then I began to hear words that would represent parts of myself, parts I am constantly struggling with. I found that the pieces fit in so many arrangements and they all seemed OK. There was a rhythm to it in a way, a rhythm that made it all work fine. This act of arranging and re arranging reminded me that sometimes we need to take the “remaining pieces” of ourselves, and find a new ways to make them fit. It’s the act of moving the pieces around where we discover a million shades of grace.

*I would recommend this exercise for anyone. Take a number of pieces of your old artwork, the ones you don’t care for. Chop them up into shapes and put it back to together in a new arrangement. See how you can redefine things. Where does it lead you? 

Creating

(To create what's in your minds eye is like chasing a dream. Let go of the vision and embrace what spills out onto the page)
I was listening to a great interview on NPR with the author Ann Patchet. She said something to this extent "I have an amazing book in my head but as soon go to to write it, I kill it". This idea really resonated with me. I began to consider, how do we get so attached to that vision we see? I realized that most of the time what comes out is NOT the vision we had but something else. I guess I know that "something" needs to come out, regardless of wether it's great or not. It's taking the chance, rolling the dice to see what it will be. This idea seems to apply to life too. We get so attached to the dream we have for our lives that we spend so much energy chasing the life we envision. What we really need to do is embrace what we are, all of it, everything that spills out into the world.

Dreams start with a seed

I always seem to come back to the image of a tree when I think about the idea of having dreams and having hope. I am in awe of trees, for many reasons. First, I love how the roots of the tree are so similar to the design of  the branches and leaves as well. The leaf's center branches out from the main center vein, the trunk to smaller limbs. The roots dig deeper into the earth the same way the branches reach toward the sky. Seeing these connections reminds me that our dreams make their way in the same manner. We build our center strong, then we can begin to reach out, edging day by day, closer to hope.

Breathe

I love to swim and I always think I feel so good after I swim because I am able to get back to more of a rhythmic kind of breath. When we experiment with our breathing then we can see that there is space to play there. There is space to extend, space to condense, space to exhale, space to inhale. We see that it's possible to use our breath to create whatever kind of breath we desire. Once we see that breath is just a tool to a deeper place within, then we're really on to something, then we can really listen to what the breath is trying to say.

Rainbows are fragments of hope, pieced together.

I started playing with the idea of broken rainbows recently. I had a sketch sitting in a folder for months, waiting for me to paint it. Then I began thinking about the "the perfect rainbow". It seemed to me that we always see rainbows the same way, Roy-g-biv stripes with cloud on each side. Why don't we look at rainbows differently? Maybe it's the broken rainbows that are the most unique? Maybe rainbows are not even curved? Maybe rainbows come in all different color combinations and so on. I began to realize that the same is true for the lives we envision for ourselves. We have to find ways to make our lives look colorful and stunning, using what we have, even if we have to put it together with duct tape and crazy glue.

Take time to play everyday. It's good for your soul.

How often do we forget this? Play is all about lightening our load, letting go of of what were supposed to be doing and just being in the moment. As adults, we don't "plan" play, we usually have to be forced to do play. We take the world so seriously then we forget how important play is. It's like laughing, we know physiologically that it makes us healthier but it feels just too extravagant. It's self nurturing, so how can that be bad? Playing leads to learning. Playing leads to lower stress. Playing reminds us of how we used to perceive our world when we were young. All good stuff, right? So then why do we resist? Here's what I noticed.
I started teaching at a day camp this summer. The "playing" really kicked my butt. I'm not talking about physically, (even though it was hard in that respect!) but more in the sense that I had to find a way to be in the same zone as the 7 year old. We were playing legos and I noticed how distracted I was. It reminded me that playing is a muscle you have to keep fluid and active. But to play as an adult is a whole other story. I can see when I resist. Usually, it's when all the adult world crap like bills and emails overload me and I push the play aside. Having a 9 year old does help, since she always wants to play something and when I really allow myself to go there with her, it makes me feel good, I have to admit. I do think the world would be a much cooler, calmer and nicer place if we all valued it a little more too. That's my 2 cents. Now I'm going find those legos. :)

Change happens one day at a time.

Doing children's books has been a daily reminder of what it takes to see things through to the end. Kids often ask me how long it takes to do a book and they are shocked when I tell them for me, it usually takes a few years for each book (at least!). So many things can side track me and take me off course too, it really challenges my ability to do a little each day. But in time things always change, it's the way nature works, wether we want it to or not. The trick is keeping the steps on the path, staying on course. You've got to know how to keep your self on course, being honest with yourself about your all your  decisions. One step. One day. One hour. One minute. One second. Small increments mean everything. It's all precious.

We can only live your best life by living.

What does it mean to be "living" really? I guess when I think about it, living is about challenging. Living means looking at your demons, looking at all the things that eat away at you day by day. The inner dialog that goes on, the stories that we tell ourselves. I believe that taking baby steps to look honestly at yourself is a huge part of living. This is much easier said than done because it's hard to be completely open to others and protect yourself from pain at the same time. But when we live fully we find a way to be vulnerable and open while also allowing the suffering and pain lead us through to greater love and acceptance.

Find connections in everything that surrounds you.

It seems that there is something about creativity that lends itself to finding connections. Think about it, if we don't connect things we can't make something new. We have to find combinations that work all the time. We have to seek ways in which things can fit together. Just as everything changes so too, everything is meant to connect with something else in order to grow. But seeking connections can be difficult at times. We get comfortable and we let our fears over ride everything. I guess it seems as though there is a bit of courage involved in finding connections because it's not always easy to wander down paths that are unknown.

The space between.

I've had this saying floating in my head for years. We seek out so much from those in our lives. Maybe it's something we crave, maybe something we believe we lack, maybe it's simple comfort. What ever it is, most of the time it's hidden because we don't take time to really think about why we seek out others to fulfill parts of ourselves. Looking at the space between is just as important as looking at the big picture.

All raindrops have a little bit of rainbow.

I have been fascinated lately by rainbows, as you can probably tell by previous entries. I love the idea that even in our sadness there is something stunning and full of brightness. Symbolically, rainbows are joy and rain is sadness. But if you get down to thinking about it, they are really so linked. The greatest joys can be tinged in sadness, the worst events may have something good some where, we just have to look for what that is. They are all opposites that make up the great design of this world.

The truth will rise to the surface.

In doing this blog I've been drawn to the idea of "truth". I think about this a lot. The other day I kept hearing myself say (in m head) "all truth is beautiful". I thought, even the things we don't want to see, all of it is beautiful because it all leads to knowing ourselves better. Maybe this saying has more to do with the sense of hope that I have, my belief that if I must simply try everyday to accept all of who I am and those thing in my life that I can't change. Through acceptance we allow the truth to emerge.

Everything big starts small.

When I write things that inspire me I start with a simple idea that resonates then I usually begin with a sentence of some sort and I play with how the words are formed, how the letters connect and relationships I see with the abstract shapes. When I wrote this piece I had started with the idea "the greatest things start from nothing". I kept thinking, what do I want to say really..how can I say it much more concisely? As I played with the idea I realized how simple this idea was. How everything we take a chance on has to begin somewhere, with some germ of goodness. Small steps are surely symbolic of the faith we have in ourselves. They are a testament to the courage we have in our dreams.

See the arc of your life.

Sometimes when there is so much darkness we can’t make out the shape of who we are meant to be. I know that I have many days when I can’t make out my dreams. I see that nothing will change. But then time passes and I remember the arc, the shapes my life has taken to get me to where I am today. I can see that all these decisions are a part of my dreams, not separate. This reminds me of drawing, because drawing is about is searching too. When you draw you erase, draw over, draw under, look, stop and look again. The lines intersect and overlap and eventually the forms appears. You need all of it to define the shape of your life.

Rainbows are made from colors that connect.

When I did this watercolor exploration I wanted to play with how the colors delicately connect together. This got me thinking about those people that I feel truly connected to in my own life. This time of year we find ourselves with time to be with loved ones. Sometimes I have to remind myself that my truths can come from the beauty I see in those I connect with as well as the beauty I struggle to find within myself.

See you own true gifts with clarity.

The other night my daughter complained to me that one of her good friends “always wins and is good at everything”. I told her "everyone is good at different things", but it got me thinking about the things we define as what “were good at” and “not good at”. Being “not good” at something can teaches us humility. Teachers always need compassion for those who struggle to learn. When a teacher has sincere understanding and patience for their student struggle it’s usually because they themselves experienced the same struggle at some point. It seems more important to spend time knowing what our contributions to this world are. Know what your legacy is while you are alive. Look at how you’ve made a difference in someone’s life. There will always be people who have been changed by who you truly are.

You are here.

I love maps. They help us find places, they guide us to where we need to go but they can also get us lost at times too. Maps are a symbol of our own inner navigation, our ability to find our way through difficult times. I have to admit, I focus so much on my own destination that at times I forget it's really OK to simple be where I am now, today, wether it's where I thought it would be or not. I really do like the idea of "you are here" though, it reminds me that I am not where I came from or where I am going. I am simply the sum of all my choices right now, today, and that will always be enough.

Your voice is your song, sing with your heart.

I figured since I started with my story about the crane, maybe I should continue with birds. I have been looking and thinking about birds a lot lately. One aspect of birds I find fascinating is a bird's song. A bird's song is like our voice in so many ways. Our voices are all so different. We have to listen very carefully to really hear what others say. We lead our lives by choosing our own songs, choosing the words and actions that define us. I guess for me, I strive to let my heart lead me. It can be hard to do that though. So many times I need to catch myself. The pain of the past can force me into a corner. But when I experience those beautiful moments when I am able to let my heart lead me, not my pain, I find great solace and relief. I only hope I can continue to see how much better I feel when I live with an awareness of the song I am singing.

Beautiful truths blog

One morning I went walking my dog by a small pond nearby my home. It was one of my usual walks except on this spring morning, to my surprise, there right in front of me, I saw a beautiful blue heron. I stopped and watched it for a about a minute but then I stepped back and walked the other way so my dog would not see it as she approached. As I turned to look back, within seconds it was gone, with out a sound. I was stunned. It flew off so fast, with out even the slightest sound of flapping wings. As I continued on my walk I thought about how many beautiful insights pass through our brains with out us ever really noticing. Those nuggets of wisdom that like the heron, are both fleeting and beautiful at the same time.

That morning on my way home, I began to think about a new blog. I thought that I could create a place where I could collect all the beautiful insights that inspire me. I hope to make this blog a place for those images and phrases that speak to something very deep within me.

To be honest, I’m not really sure how this will exactly take shape. All I know is that I want to explore colors, patterns, textures, symbols, letter forms, type ect…all the things I use as an artist to translate an idea into an image. I also want to explore my own process; how I create things and how my ideas find their way onto the page.

Finally, I'd like to connect with others. I welcome comments, emails ect…sharing is one of the best part of blogging, finding others out there who feel the same way and appreciate your efforts.

I truly hope you enjoy!

-maria carluccio